Before I became a codependency coach I struggled with it for myself. I know how it's like to fight your inner battle trying to make a change and breaking patterns. The road to recovery isn't an easy one, but I can definetly tell you it's so worth it! I wrote a piece about it: my vision on codependency. The moment I wrote this was my breaking point, it was then and there that I made a commitment to myself and said: NEVER AGAIN...
I gave myself beyond my limits, pushed myself even further with hope in my pockets that I could satisfy myself with the crumbs you gave me. Starving myself with the ideal hope that I could manifest this illusion into reality, but the bubble burst... I fell deeper than I thought into the well of my fabricated dreams, forced to face myself in the broken mirror of unconditional love. Standing there naked with nothing more than emptiness inside my soul. The mask of shallowness dropped, ... the lies from pretending that we were so much torn apart. Just a faded shade of the person I used to be, realizing that I have been here before. Cuffed in chains feeling the dangerous sense of comfort like a warm blanket on a cold winters night, knowing that this comfort doesn’t deserve the title love. In fact it doesn't even come close to this warm fuzzy feeling keeping humankind in a wondering haze. All the impressions I’ve gathered about love were just a false image like a wolf in sheep clothing, the perfect disguise for the ultimate pain and suffering. The most opposite of what it is meant to be...
It was in that moment that I realized I needed to turn inside to free myself. The answers weren’t found in blaming the other, no matter how much they hurted me. It was me allowing, not giving myself a voice thinking that I was not worth more than the crumbs of delusion.
After struggling and going through the pattern of being addicted to love I crossed myself so many times. On the lowest moment I learned so much about myself and about this toxic behaviour that it intriged me to dig even deeper. It was then that I decided to make it my mission to help others with my expierence and knowledge. Now I coach people from all over the world to break this circle by my five step program. It is so rewarding to see people grow and take the journey of self-love. Don't hesitate to contact me if you want more information about my five step program or if you want to share your story with me. Know that you don't have to walk this road alone... and remember: you got this!!
Lots of love, Selina
©️Subtle Balance
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