In previous posts I spoke about narcissism; it's existence, the meaning and how to recognise. Today I want to share more about the variety of narcissists. As everything in this world things aren't all the same. They simply cannot be... and this is also the case in narcissism.
Before I dive into this fascinating topic I want to underline that there's a huge difference between a person showing narcissistic traits or someone who's suffering from NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Disorders can only be diagnosed by experts in the field. When I speak about a narcissist I mean someone who's struggling with NPD. My intention is not to label people, but simply to create more awareness.
"Why is it so important to talk about the different types of narcissists?",
I might hear you think.
Well, to give a simple example... When you buy a car you'll read the manual of that specific car to know how to use it and how to anticipate, right? Knowing those little tips and tricks will help you along. It works the same with narcissism. It would be foolish to assume that every type will be identical and react in the same way. When you know what type of narcissist is in front of you, you can easier recognise the patterns. By recognising them you'll create an advantage in protecting yourself, and isn't that something worth knowing?
"The base is always the same".
The base of NPD is the same whitin every type of narcisst,
which can be summed up in seven points:
lack of empathy
grandiosity
entitlement
seeking validation
superficiality
arrogance
exploits others without guilt or shame
Some traits will be more present than others. The tactic and the pattern will vary drastically depending on the type. Which has a different outcome on the closest people around them.
Hereby the five most common types.
I'll talk about each type briefly to give you a first impression.
Some might be recognisable, others less. Would say stay tuned for other posts where I'll share more detailed info per type.
the grandiose or the celebrity narcissist; This is the textbook narcissist. They need a huge amount of validation and admiration. Love to be in the center of attention. When they're not they'll get bored easily. They cannot put themselves in the shoes of the other person since they lack empathy. Among other things this leads to exploiting people to gain personal benefits.
the malignant or the toxic one; From all the types this might be the coldest one with the least empathy. They'll bend and break rules in order to achieve what they desire. Quite often they have powerful positions in which they can move freely, engaging only with people they can use. The frightening aspect about this type are the similar traits with psychopathy.
a vulnerable or covert narcissist; This type might be very deceiving since they tend to use vulnerability in their blame game. It can be quite confusing to see through the masquarade. From all the types this is the more introvert one playing his or her game more one-on-one. The grandiosity is more hidden which makes you wonder if they could really be narcissistic since they seem so timid.
the communal one or the hastag-narcissist; This type is the kind that will seek for the validation through good doing. Their the ones rescuing animals during the weekend or help as a volunteer in a soup kitchen. While doing this they look fabulous and will make sure there's enough footage to spread showing the world how great they are. When the validation isn't coming as they want or expect they'll take their frustrations off on the people closest to them.
the benign or the superficial narcissist; This type is the less mean spirited one from them all. Their focus lies more on everything that has to do with superficial aspects. Preferences for fancy things so they can show off to the world is super important. They love to be in the center of attention and are really extroverted. You can call them the 'party-starters' or 'the-always-fun-one' to hang with. On the otherhand they can be very immature dodging any form of responsibility.
Do you recognise some of these types? Are their aspects you've experienced that you wish to share? Feel free to share them in the comments below or send me a mail or DM. You can also follow me on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/subtle_balance/
where I post daily about toxic relationships and everything that's related to it. Like mentioned before, stay tuned for more detailed info on the different types.
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Lots of love, Selina
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